Today

I've gotten away from Fitday in the last week. I guess I felt like everything else was off schedule and why bother? Plenty of reasons to bother, but that is behind me. Today is in the present moment. I know what I need to do today. I have goals and dreams for tomorrow and sure there is planning and structure needed to reach those goals, but I am focusing on what I can do today. The more I worry about the future, the worse I feel. My chest starts hurting, I can't breathe, I feel anxious and depressed. The worst part? I STILL don't get anything accomplished with the worrying. *DUH* SO... I am focusing on today, today.

I am going back to writing everything down that I eat and do. Times and everything. I am going to pay attention to my mood, hormonal cycles, etc. I have to get this Insulin Resistance and Asthma under control. I'd like to not be IR at all anymore. Until I get back to at least the 140's-150's that is unlikely. My goal from here is to be healthy first, hot second. I'd love to be able to wear a bikini this summer and feel good it in. So that is my mini goal for now. If things progress sooner- awesome! If not, well I am doing what I can. I am done with excuses and whining and feeling sorry for myself. I am awesome. I can do this. Just because things aren't going MY way, doesn't mean I stop doing things the right way. My body needed this break and that is okay. I am okay. Everything is okay. Its now time to get back to changing my body's chemistry again so that I can one day post on this blog that I am no longer Insulin Resistant.


And for anyone needing a kick in the pants... Check out THIS ! I think Evelyne and Tea have already linked to it. I love it. Some days, when I was feeling at the top of my game I felt this way when people at work whined. Well, this is the perfect kick to get me amped up. I'm working out today. Even if I can only do baby weights. I am getting back my life.