Rough Week

This week was rough. I failed a lot. My food was just terrible. I just lost my drive. I was SO exhausted all week it was amazing I got workouts in at all.
Here is my excuse list: PMS,PMS,PMS,PMS... moving a whole retail store to a new location, sinus issues, nausea, exhaustion, nasty new whey powder- really effed up my day...yuck!, stress, exhaustion, PMS, PMS, sinus issues, exhaustion, nausea, nausea, exhaustion..... just excuses in the end. As T says- "excuses are nails used to build a house of failure..."

So yeah. Had I eaten better the exhaustion probably would have been much less. My workouts were not the intensity I wanted. I learned that I need to lift in the morning. Evening lift sessions are just not that good for me. Cardio at night works well.

I'm getting back on track starting now. I have the day off and I plan to workout, sleep, eat healthy, drink LOTS of water and catch up on cleaning the house. I haven't been here much this week. Over 60 hours at work.... I'm feeling kinda dead. I am looking forward to being home.

Rough day

Today was a rough day. :(

Damn hormones.

I think I hate working out at night. I prefer to get my workouts done first thing. I feel better all day that way.

I've been getting nauseated all day and I feel like my body is on fire again. Just like last week. WTH? I don't get it. Is my body rejecting something or cleansing or what? Nothing in particular has changed that much. I am working out harder and eating clean so.... could the ACV or Lemon Juice be causing it? I don't feel bad when I am drinking my water mix... :( My back has been hurting- like kidney region. Perhaps more plain water to keep flushing?

I feel like bawling... and its really over nothing.

:(

Going to bed now. Tomorrow has to be better.

Commitment

“There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”

Yesterday I broke down for a piece of Panera Bread. I'm over it now, but I was really irritated yesterday. I blew it due to poor planning. I was behind on the meal schedule and was starving by the time I ordered a salad. PMS is creeping in. I've decided to remove that from my vocabulary. I'm doing my best to create a positive mindset. If others can workout and eat healthy through trials like family members passing away, I can certainly battle my hormones. Just because it isn't easy doesn't mean its impossible.

My tummy is getting nauseated again. *grumble* I don't get it. I wonder if its the vitamin I am taking. I take it everyday though. I hate being nauseated. :( I need to figure it out. Its starting to irritate me.

I have legs tonight. Hopefully I can walk tomorrow am. LOL

Week 2 - looking good

So far so good. Its only been one day. lol I got an awesome email from Tony yesterday encouraging me to keep up the good work. That made me feel even better than I already felt about my progress. :) I told my manager how much I lost and he responded with a high-five and "awesome job, keep it up". He also gave me no hassle while I was getting all my meals in. Sweet! I tried something different yesterday. I did 30 min cardio yesterday morning and then I did my lifting at night. Usually I do it the other way around. We'll see how that goes. If I keep my body confused, great. I did chest, one back exercise and abs. *whoa* I'm already getting that feeling. The one right before major DOMS kicks in. I am doing shoulders today and I can't decide if I should do them now or wait til tonight? I have to help move a couch and dresser today... This should be fun. I'm drinking as much water as possible today. Maybe that will help.
I have a ton of cleaning to do today. I neglected things last week with the visiting dog and new workout/ meal program. Time to catch up! Must go now... but I'm still a little sleepy... No rest for the weary.

Maybe I'll still have time for a pedicure.... I deserve one, don't I? ;)

Running Down A Dream

So this goes with my theme song for this period of my life...



Myspace Graphics at WishAFriend.com

Week One Complete

I can't believe Week One is coming to an end. I am down 6.4lbs. :D My clothes are definitely looser. I checked in with Tony via email. I'm guessing I'll hear from him late tonight or tomorrow. I would love to drop another 6lbs this week. I know that the loss has to slow down, but does it really?? I am so happy. I know I built up some nice muscle this week. I can feel it. Tomorrow looks like upper body workout. I need to go back and print it. I am determined to really push hard on my workouts and make every workout count. I am doing extra cardio this week, too. I didn't get that many extras in last week. I got a bonus at work for exceeding goals and I got it in the form of several gift cards. I am getting a Kohl's card so YAY for buying smaller sizes soon. I can't wait! I SO need to get out of these yucky sizes.

Tonight I want to start working on my "Diva Binder". I am going to fill it with my workouts, images of my dream body, inspirational sayings or thoughts... I'm excited. I love doing artsy things and I think it will help me.

Today my MBL was sweet as sugar. Not one nasty comment or funny look. She was genuinely nice. I guess I'll just roll with it. I think being her "buddy" makes her happy. She was all chatty today and we actually had a fun talk. So weird.

Off to create now... :) Maybe I'll post some pics later.

:(

Feeling down. I have been dealing with some nausea for a few days and yesterday it hit me hard. Food and movement are bad. I tried to eat healthy yesterday. Meals were mostly according to plan except for the Sprite. I opted to not work out today. My head hurts, my chest feels very heavy, I am congested now and my balance is way off. I feel like garbage. :( I have to work today. Maybe this bug will just leave me. I am not letting this bring me down. Well I'm trying anyway. I am bummed. I was doing so well. *grumble* Instead of tomorrow being my rest day I am going to do today's workout.
I don't know if I should be emailing Tony. I feel kinda dumb. lol Should I tell him I am sick? Or just wait until Monday's check in? *gah* I don't know.

Off to shower and get ready for work. I am hopping for an easy day with lots of sales and not too much stress. I must be sick if I think that is possible...

I just want my blanket, my pillow and some saltines...

/whining

Thinking...

Funny story--> I checked the scale again (I am trying to break a habit. I used to weigh myself everyday sometimes a few times a day). I stepped on the scale, squealed and exclaimed "I LOVE Tony!" My husband is gonna get jealous. LOL I don't want to stop progressing. I have been working so hard the last 10 weeks. Tony's plan has woken up my metabolism. I can also see and feel a HUGE difference in my muscles. I feel skinnier. No one would ever call me skinny right now, but I feel good. :)

I've been thinking... I have been thinking about maybe doing a figure competition. I know its not easy. I know there is a lot of work involved. I know there is a lot to go through after the competition as well. I also realize that my support base here in the "real world" will be next to nothing. My work situation is making it difficult enough to try and lose fat. I'm not counting on management being supportive or flexible in any way. Hubby doesn't want me to look like a man with a nasty tan. *sigh* My mom has the same opinion. On one hand I think I should make progress and see how things go. On the other hand I just want to do it and tell everyone else to stick it. For so long I have not been confident, happy, healthy or strong. At one moment in my life I was. I remember that feeling and I want it back. I want that version of me back. Doing a competition isn't necessarily the answer. Its just one more thing I'd like to try. It would give me more reason to push myself and see just what this body is capable of. I've been afraid of it for so long.

For now I am just thinking. I've let other people talk me out of things for so long.

So far so good :D

So far so good. Things are going well overall but I am really struggling to get all my meals in- and at appropriate times. I just can't believe that its so hard to get a lunch let alone mini breaks. My assistant manager likes to sabotage me. She is making things as hard as possible. I just don't know how to handle her. I'd like to avoid getting the store manager involved, but I may just have to. He's already a little aware.

I need to talk to Tony about my workout and food schedule. Snack 3 is supposed to be after workout no matter what. I workout in the morning and it feels impossible to drink a shake and less than an hour later get oatmeal and eggwhites in. Even when I am hungry enough, I am so rushed. I'm trying to cram some food in because its hit and miss at work. My days off are great. No meal timing issues. Work days are another beast. Today for time's sake, I threw my protein powder in my oatmeal. I'm getting everything in, right? I don't know. I need to ask. I WILL NOT sabotage or screw this up. I am so worried that I'm going to mess up my progress. Its definitely stressing me out. I *SO* need to get a job working from home or something.

For everyone out there- does the ACV/Lemon Juice mixture mess with your stomach? I've been a bit nauseated. Maybe its just detox.

Day Two Begins

Looks like Tracker is down.... again.

I slept like garbage last night because of the pug I'm dog-sitting. He's cute but so not like a normal pug. The lazy, low-key thing... not this pug. He just goes and goes and goes. He tried to help with my workout this morning. "Um, look puggie, my abs are weak enough and these exercises are challenging enough. I *really* don't need any extra weight on my chest. Thanks." He was cute, but nothing is quite so... gross, as doing crunches with a dog sneeze in your face. *yuck*

So anyway... enough grumpy news. :D I shouldn't have done it, but I just felt too different to not inspect. I got on the scale... I'm down 3 lbs! I'm quite sure water is involved but I retain more water than a camel in the desert anyway. :D I've got good DOMS going on and I feel great. (except the sleep deprived part) I am going to do some cardio tonight. I am so glad that I signed up with Tony. :D Body For Life was a good way to get back into exercising and eating healthier. I just wasn't getting fast results. I had been stalled out for about 4 weeks with minimal change. With as much fat as I have to lose, I should have been dropping at least 1 lb per week if not 2. I really needed this jumpstart to my metabolism. I have done so much damage to it over the years...

Off to shower and get breakfast in. MRP in. :)

Wish me luck at work. (long story, but I have a female boss who does not have a weight issue that tries to sabotage my efforts by not letting me take breaks and much more.)