Feeling ?

Its not about whether or not I FEEL like doing something, its just about doing what needs to be done. It doesn't matter that I don't feel like eating X and would rather eat Y. Y will not help me achieve my goals, so I will eat X. It doesn't matter that I feel tired and don't feel like working out, staying in bed isn't getting me my winning figure body. I am all about feelings in my little world and its time to break this habit. I want to listen to my body to make sure I am healthy and not injured. That may mean I need to NOT listen to my brain making excuses. This is a huge endeavor for me. A challenge of a lifetime. I am going to do something I have been terrified to do. I am going to be me!

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In response to my previous entry:

Melissa- I thought I was just a stress eater, but really its just anger that I struggle with. Its so weird. From what I have been reading its pretty common with women because we "stuff" emotions inside a lot... seems to make sense. I would think after the thing with your family the adrenaline and aftermath would make it difficult to want to eat at all.

Tea- you're right. I need use my anger as fuel to keep me going. It doesn't hurt anyone but me, but I guess it must be some sense of control or comfort. Being aware definitely helps for sure though.

Liimu- Good call on the writing. I use to journal a lot more than I do now. I guess I should get back to that!

Sundie- being more acutely aware definitely helps. Its just fighting that overwhelming urge more than anything tho. I am making an effort now to be aware all the time when it comes to food.