My fire is gone right now. My fire for just life. The desire to go on like this day to day is gone. Oh it will return. Right now... I need to get my head in a better space pronto. I just don't care right now. I am feeling beaten. I feel so much like a dog tied to a really, really long chain. I thought I was free and I was running towards my goal. I had to do a few jumps already, but I was on my way. I was running fast and I was going to make it... until the chain jerked me back down. I am lying here stunned right now. I keep telling myself that things don't have to be only one way. There are other ways to do other things. I am just so disappointed. My stress levels are still through the roof. Job/financial instability is freaking me out. I do the best I can and it doesn't matter. I have always been good at what I do, but... the bar keeps getting raised so much higher. I feel like I'm drowning. No one cares if I stay or go. I'm of no real value. I keep looking elsewhere for jobs and there aren't any. :( The economy stinks around here especially and if I leave I lose benefits to end up working 2 jobs with none.
Where is my fire? I need it back to survive.
One word that will define my whole year
4 years ago
2 comments:
Hillary
I CARE!
Things will work out in the end, it just takes sometime...if you ever need to take you can always give me a call ;)
Don't talk like that! As hard as it is you have to look past all that and move forward! I'm here too if you need to vent. I take my frustration and worries out on the elliptical.
Cheer up girl. You have a lot to look forward to! Don't let things out of your control get you down!
Hugs!
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