Gym Woes

So I went to check out a new gym last night. I asked for a free trial and I got a two-week free pass along with a ton of discounts if I join. I went at 7:15 after I got off of work and there were 3 people working out. I asked what times were busy and they guy who was showing me around kinda got defensive until he realized I was interested in working out when I didn't have to fight meatheads for weights. He used the word meathead! LOL I felt... turned off by the whole experience. This gym is close and well... convenient. Its small, low traffic but its missing some things. One machine I *really* want is the assisted pull up machine. I looked around and didn't see one so I asked. The guy tells me they don't have one but not many girls can do pullups anyway. Uhhhh Hello? I'm a girl and I'd like to do pull ups but I need some darn help to get there! Okay so not the biggest deal, but it could be a deal breaker. So we continue talking and going over stuff. He's trying to sell me on what discounts he can offer, blah, blah, blah. The cardio area was tiny! If it was busy I could see being irritated about cardio equipment. The final thing that just irked me was the personal training conversation. I told him I already had a trainer (who wouldn't be in the area to create conflict with his staff trainers) and I wasn't interested in hiring anyone there. I just wanted to know if they did body fat measurements. I was told that they have a bio-impedance machine and that was perfectly accurate and no one did skin-fold. Ummmm- I may be fat, but I'm not stupid! I know those things aren't "perfectly accurate". And when I saw the 2 personal trainers I questioned if they took their own advice or were just not really qualified- they were not in shape at all! After I mentioned the body fat thing he would not stop offering me personal training services. *sigh* Didn't you hear me?? I told you I had a trainer already I just need help with skin fold measurements. I have my own darn calipers. Its just hard or impossible in some cases to get measurements in all places. Teaching the hubby is going to be fun. *ugh* LOL Someone told me of a new gym that I was unaware of. Guess I am off to check that one out too.

Side note- I have to go to the doctors I think for this darn head/chest cold that has kicked me down. While I am there I think I am going to ask for a referral for a DEXA scan. They offer body comp scans now and well.... I know that will be accurate for sure. Better than teaching the hubby how to use calipers! LOL

I wish I could just have my own gym. I loved when I worked at the YMCA. Ours was kick ass! We had an awesome cardio section and a great free weight room- not in a basement like most Y's. I worked as a personal trainer and loved it. I look back and realize I was barely qualified- just by YMCA standards, but it was still great. I was trained with just enough to get by. Most people weren't looking for hard core anything. They just wanted to learn how to use equipment and do basic exercises. I really enjoyed it. I loved my old guys that came in for cardiac rehab. :D Ahhhh- the good ol' days. lol I realize now there is SOOO much more to fitness and the human body. Wow.

Courage

I love this. I am such a 'fraidy cat sometimes- usually for no good reason.







This is how I feel about my goals. My goals and dreams are more important than how I feel at the gym (aka- self-conscious and afraid everyone will laugh or stare at me).
I'm jumpin' off the cliff! Wahoo!

I'm over it! (Food Porn discussion & more - SKIP if you need to!)

Just filling up some space here so that my competing friends who may be in a moment of weakness don't read the food porn words that will follow. lalalala :D


So I am starting a new program on Monday. Of course my "old brain" yells- "OMG! We gotta eat all the bad stuff now since we'll be deprived until April! EAT!!!" I have been 50-75% clean eating the last 3 days. I had my Ben & Jerry's Americone Dream. It just wasn't as good. The first few bites were great and then I was just over it. Pizza is always my weakness, but having a salad first filled me up and after a slice I was over it. I typically love Chinese food. I love spices and Hunan Chicken is a tasty treat- I had that last night and well... I'm over it. My "new brain" MUST be taking over because I just haven't enjoyed those foods much and I can't wait to start eating clean again. I don't like the physical effects of eating junk. I can really tell when things aren't right. Who'd a thunk it??? LOL

I am getting REALLY REALLY pumped. I am now having dreams about competitions. I am really SEEING myself getting ready and overcoming obstacles. I am surprised at my determination. I really want this. I WILL be ready and on stage looking for a trophy in April. I'm sure I'll have to work hard and fight some old mindsets that tell me I am weak and I should just settle for X instead of getting A. As of right now this isn't the issue. :) I'm seeing it, I'm believing it. I am going for it! I already have people telling me not to get too "manly" or too buff. I guess soft & squishy is more comfortable for everyone else. Well... I've been soft & squishy for too long! I'm OVER IT! I have asked my coworkers to come support me in April and to support me during my training. I told them if they see me with ANY bad foods they need to slap it out of my hands and yell "Competition". :D Its funny how asking people to help me and support me has changed their attitude. Now they are involved in some way and they seem less resistant. I'm sure once I start looking "too hard or too manly" they will try to feed me junk, but for now the holidays should be a little easier.

Off to the place that interrupts my training... aka my job.

Life has tried to get me down...

So I came back from Kentucky with a new fire. My first day heading back to work.... my car wouldn't start! Seriously?? Okay... no worries. I got a ride into work, had my lunch packed- I ate clean and drank my gallon of water. Many times in my life food has been my comfort. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about comfort food when I realized the cost to rent a car while mine is being fixed- and the cost of that, etc. I don't like unexpected bills. Who does? Unexpected sums of money coming IN is another story-haha. Anyway, I didn't give in. I asked myself- what would a Pro Figure Champ do? What would she eat? Would she give into a moment or would she stay the course? I have chosen to stay the course. There is no need to make poor food choices just because some event occurred.

I am pleased with my renewed determination. I am excited. I met one person this week that is excited about my goals. I more than likely won't see her again, but it was nice to have someone not recoil and go "ewww. Don't be a gross manly woman." *sigh* My parents, coworkers and hubby are all not on board. Its okay- except for the hubby. He wants me to be healthy and is okay with the Bikini thing, but anything else is too much. I'm just not going to talk to many people about it. It makes me sad because this is important to me, but I am not going to get put down over it. I've already tried to explain and show that these figure women are gorgeous and strong, but people won't listen. All I can do is show them when I get there. Everyone has their own ideas. Its cool. I just would appreciate it if they would not try and knock me down.

The last few days have been exhausting with the extra work and trainings and car drama. I am happy about the clean eating and water drinking. I need to get some solid sleep tonight. Last few nights my cats have been... jerks. Ha. I am ready to push HARD in my workouts the next few days. I've been kinda weak- I think the low sleep hurt me. Good sleep tonight and I am hitting it hard tomorrow!

Julie- Thank you again! You are the best!

Still Feeling It! (and link to KY Muscle pics)

I am still feeling the "high" from the weekend. I am excited and totally determined. I know that there are people I work for and with that are going to try and bust my bubble today. I'm just not going to give in. I am better than that. Heck- right now I'll say I am better off than they are. My life does not revolve around my workplace and my value and worth is not based on my job or what my superiors, coworkers or customers think of me. It only matters what I think of me.
Instead of viewing myself as a fatty trying to lose weight, I am going to start thinking of myself as an awesome body that needs a little remodeling. (insert cheesy grin here) Its like a car or house that needs a new coat of paint and some rearranging. I just need to rearrange the fat (outta the body!) and add some muscle in the right places. Time to remodel "my house" into my dream house. :D

I read today that the rate of heart failure has tripled in the last 30 years. Yikes! All the more reason to be healthy. I don't want to be a statistic. I want to be healthy and strong and SEXY. :D


For anyone who wants to see more KY Muscle Show pictures you can go to Alexis Rhea Photography

I haven't uploaded ALL my pics but I'm still recovering from lack of sleep. :P

(edited because my link disappeared?? trying again.... if it goes away again its: http://alexisrhea.smugmug.com/Events )

Kentucky Muscle Show

Wow. WOW.

This was the first competition that I have ever attended. WOW! I can't stop grinning. You know the one- the big cheesy grin that makes people wonder what your thinking about. :D

I got up at 4am, showered up and hit the road yesterday morning. I managed to get to Kentucky (from Northern Ohio) in 4.5 hours. The traffic was a breeze and the weather broke when I hit Kentucky- beautiful! I stopped at The Galt House hotel and picked up my tickets and surprise gift from Carla. (LUV, LUV, LUV!) I walked around downtown Louisville and found the convention center. I went into the expo just in time to see the IFBB Pro girls at prejudging. WOW!!! I found Tracy at Julie Lohre's booth. I was so happy to find someone I "knew". lol Tracy is awesome! Look out NPC she's serious! ;)
Tracy was so nice and answered my millions of questions about how comps worked and why things happened they way they did and what the judges look for, etc. Julie was up onstage expediting so I asked Tracy more questions about Julie. LOL It was really cool to see the pro girls do their thing. They make it look so stinkin' easy! I know better! They were gorgeous and graceful. Wow.

Julie came back to her booth for a bit and Tracy introduced me. Julie is THE SWEETEST woman I have ever met! She was SO nice. She asked me questions, answered mine and she gave me a photo of her (my MOST favorite picture ever and my inspiration photo since I began BFL this year) and she signed it. I told her I wanted to have a picture like that of me and that she was so inspiring to me. She wrote on the photo "Hillary, You Can Do This". I don't think anyone saw, but a tear snuck out at that point. Wow. How's that for motivation??? Julie Lohre, and IFBB Pro tells you that you can do something?? Dang Skippy you can! I am back with a vengeance! My fire has been re-lit. Seeing all the fit bodies- live, in person and up close- makes a huge impact on the psyche. These aren't just bodies in pictures online or in a magazine. REAL people can look this good! And for the record- Miss Tracy looks even better in person than her pictures may reveal! She's skinny! (but buff) LOL No more "fat girl" attitude missy! You look great! ;)

I wish I would have freshened up the make-up and fixed my dang shirt. I looked like a dork all day. LOL Someone could have told me..... I had to wait to see the pictures! *gah* Oh well... 6 months from now... the next picture of Julie and I will be AWESOME. :D (She said so!) LOL



And beautiful Tracy....




The body building pre-judging was neat to see. I think I could do well judging the boyz. LOL With only one exception I called the top 5 order every time. Whoa. And let me just say- There were some seriously beautiful men there. Jami (from BFL tracker) and I had a nice time. LOL! Rawr! I had 2 favorite posing routines. The first was the overall Novice winner- GREAT body and great routine. The second fave was a 56yr old guy who posed to Toby Keith's- "I Ain't as Good as I Once Was". LOL It was hysterical and he did a great job.

I'll post the link to the pics later.

I am sooo pumped! (and no, its not from the millions of free samples I scored at the expo! tee hee hee)

Kentucky.... Here I Come

Tonight I need to get my sleep. I leave at 0500 for Kentucky. :) I get to meet Carla and Tracy and Jami and hopefully Julie Lohre!! (I thought I saw a rumor about Beka going??) I can't wait to take pics of everyone. :D

I am filled with mixture of emotions. I am so excited to meet everyone! I am SOOO proud of Carla. I know she is going to do fabulous! She just has to do awesome!

I feel anxious. I'm definitely going to be a fat chick in a sea of beautiful and fit women. I feel like the fat kid in gym class again. :( Always running behind everyone else. Huffing and puffing- barely crossing the finish line. I am sad. I wanted to be SOOO much further by now. I really did. I thought I could do it. I have lost some energy somewhere. I am so tired and well.... depressed. I am hoping this weekend will be the shock I need to get my booty back on track. I hate being so self-conscious and awkward. I need some girl time this weekend. I am looking forward to this so much. Maybe it will help being around women who aren't a bunch of flakes- women who are strong and amazing (love you Carla, Tracy & Jami!)The ladies I see on a daily basis are not good health company for sure. I have just felt so low. My support is nil. Hubs is starting to make things hard again. :/ I need this weekend. I need to be surrounded by my dreams. Things have been lost in the fog. I think 10 hours of driving will help me get some alone time, too. ;) I will have pics and stories for sure when I return on Sunday . I should have a a better 'tude, too. ;)

I can hardly walk...

:D

I did a KILLER leg workout on Saturday. Yesterday I was sore, but WOWSERS! Today I can barely move. I decided to just do chest and tri's today and attempt a walk at lunch. I am off tomorrow and plan a good measure of EMC.

I am trying really hard not to freak out today. I have to go back to work with my old boss. :( It sucks. He's controlling, negative, condescending, nagging, belittling, overbearing.... the list goes on. Despite numerous complaints from every store he goes to, he still has a job. No one knows why. I was bombarded yesterday with people complaining to me about how bad it was the first day he came back. Today 6 text messages- I go in at noon. *sigh* I need to make some changes in my career.... soon.

No matter what happens today, I am eating clean and drinking my water. I'm done with other people trying to interfere with my goals.

Feeling Mushy.... awww

I'm feeling all mushy now. I was looking online at the resort where we got married (3 years ago yesterday!) Our wedding pictures are still up on the site! Awwwww....

Hubby got me some flowers and I'm feeling all mushy and weepy. lol I loved my wedding. I want to get married again! lol Its not like we need to renew our vows or anything... it was just such a happy time for me. I'm am SO getting my booty into shape. I want to fit in my dress again. Maybe I can get a 2nd honeymoon or something out of it....

Happy Anniversary (yesterday) Baby! :D

Its November!

Wow. I can't believe it. November already!

I have been pretty on target the last few days I can tell. Now if this sinus/stomach thing would just LEAVE already I'd be doing great. I'll be feeling great for awhile and then it hits me with waves of nausea, a killer headache and then I feel congested after I lie down. *sigh* I'm getting pretty grumpy about that but I'm NOT giving in. I've been eating cleaner and pushing harder. It feels great.

Lsat night we watched Jeepers Creepers, Constantine (Luv Keanu Reeves!) and Resident Evil. :) We also carved pumpkins! Mine is the Om symbol. :)



I am SOOOO exited about going to the KY Muscle Show next weekend! I get to see my friends, get a kick in the pants with motivation (though I'm doing pretty good right now) and possibly meet Julie Lohre! I can't wait to take lots of pics. I love taking pictures and it would be an honor to get some awesome shots of my friends showing off their best. :)

We may be going to a "Halloween" party uptown tonight. If we do, I'll take pics! :)