Friday, November 7, 2008

Kentucky.... Here I Come

Tonight I need to get my sleep. I leave at 0500 for Kentucky. :) I get to meet Carla and Tracy and Jami and hopefully Julie Lohre!! (I thought I saw a rumor about Beka going??) I can't wait to take pics of everyone. :D

I am filled with mixture of emotions. I am so excited to meet everyone! I am SOOO proud of Carla. I know she is going to do fabulous! She just has to do awesome!

I feel anxious. I'm definitely going to be a fat chick in a sea of beautiful and fit women. I feel like the fat kid in gym class again. :( Always running behind everyone else. Huffing and puffing- barely crossing the finish line. I am sad. I wanted to be SOOO much further by now. I really did. I thought I could do it. I have lost some energy somewhere. I am so tired and well.... depressed. I am hoping this weekend will be the shock I need to get my booty back on track. I hate being so self-conscious and awkward. I need some girl time this weekend. I am looking forward to this so much. Maybe it will help being around women who aren't a bunch of flakes- women who are strong and amazing (love you Carla, Tracy & Jami!)The ladies I see on a daily basis are not good health company for sure. I have just felt so low. My support is nil. Hubs is starting to make things hard again. :/ I need this weekend. I need to be surrounded by my dreams. Things have been lost in the fog. I think 10 hours of driving will help me get some alone time, too. ;) I will have pics and stories for sure when I return on Sunday . I should have a a better 'tude, too. ;)


Evelyne said...

I really hope this trip helps. Sometimes just being surrounded by people who think the way you do really boosts your mood. It's certainly hard to reach your goals and maintain a positive attitude when you are surrounded by negative people, especially when one of those is your own husband. I love going on long drives alone. It helps clear my head and I love singing out loud to the music I like. Can't wait to see pics and hear how it all went!

Tearose said...

Hey there I just wanted to say that those feelings you have, use them to fuel your progress, get a fire in your belly. Where I live all my husbands friends and their girlfriends are all fit, I was the fat one, it made me so unhappy and sad, then one day I saw an msn post where one of them was actually saying how fat I was and I got mad. You can so do this, soak in the positives on this trip, have a great time, know that the dream body you see in your mind is already yours. Come back and follow the plan, its inevitable :) *hugs* By the way I think your beautiful.

Health Girl said...

Wow! I just saw that you both commented on my blog. Thanks!! :D

Evelyne- The long drive had MUCH singing. :) I love singing and almost 10 hours was... healing? I feel freer today. :) The hubs is feeling intimidated I think. He's worried I won't spend time with him.
This weekend was JUST what I needed!

Tea- Thanks for the comment! Awww- that was so sweet for you to say. *blush*
And you're right- turn the feelings into fuel and fight. :) I'm on it! I'm sorry people made mean comments about you, but I am glad you were able to take that and make it a positive! You are doing SO awesome!