Sunday, August 31, 2008

"Awww, You Poor Thing..."

"Awww, you poor thing..." say my coworkers as I eat my chicken breast and broccoli. "Look how dedicated you are. All you get to eat is that? Awww."
Really? You pity me? You pity ME, while you all eat Arby's and Wendy's and Burger King? Ha! I pity YOU for putting that toxic shit into your bodies.

I was completely amazed. I get compliments from my coworkers multiple times a week. (I don't mind, but its weird knowing everyone is paying *THAT* much attention). They see me eat my "health nut" food and see my changes and yet feel pity that I can't eat all the crap they do? Funny stuff.

AND THEN IT HITS ME!! DUH! That's how I feel sometimes when I'm in a funk. I feel all whiny and pitiful- why can't I eat what everyone else does? (really I just want pizza- never have liked the fast food crap, lol) I can't eat what everyone else does because my goal isn't to be an unhealthy, overweight slug! :D Another mini-moment brought to you by me. :D

The next time anyone feels in a funk and wants junk food, just remember this little story. :)

In a completely unrelated note: T is AWESOME! He made my day today. :)

Saturday, August 30, 2008

Morning Cardio

Today is a better day. The sun is out, the sky is blue and I have my cardio in! I just got done writing Tony an email. I did an hour of walking and walk/run outside. Here is what I wrote to him. My realizations are included. LOL

I am doing better today. I feel less irrational. I downloaded some of the blogtalk radio podcasts, loaded them on my MP3 player and off I went outside. I didn't know specifically where I was going and if I was going to do intervals, but I needed some time outside to move around. I walked all the way to my work (37 minutes) and then did intervals on the way back. I listened to the Step Out of the Shadows podcast and the Tosca interview. Both were immensely helpful, encouraging and inspiring. I have been thinking a lot about how I go through life. I just don't like being uncomfortable! I am scared of so many things and even going outside to exercise "in public" where other people might see me is uncomfortable. I don't consciously think this, but once upon a time it was a very conscious thought- "what if they laugh at me?" "What if they make fun of me?" The obvious answer is So What?! Why should I care what anyone thinks? Sometimes I able to throw off the weighted cloak of self-doubt, vulnerability and fear. A lot of times it weighs me down and I trip over it. Yesterday was a trip, get tangled up and land on my face kind of day. I think that is a huge part of why I was so angry. The part of me that wants so badly to be free is restricted by the scared little girl. I have more confidence now than ever before, but I still let my fears of failure keep me down. The bodybuilder exercises aren't easy for me at all. I want to be able to do them and do them with perfect form. However since success at this exercise isn't easy I get all stupid and anxious. Yesterday was not a strong day for me and my "failure" just sent me over the edge. Completely stupid, but it happened. I went to work, came home and ate then pretty much passed out in bed for the next 9 hours. I felt refreshed this morning. I was still emotionally sore, but I knew I needed not to dwell, but move forward.

So yeah.... lots of realizations while listening to our man and Tosca. I wish Tony would do more podcasts... :)

I need to get some food in me now. Can't afford to use up any muscle!

Friday, August 29, 2008


So.... I freaked out this morning. I didn't get enough sleep at all- in a 5 hour time period I peed 6 times! I also kept waking up worrying about work crap. :( So this morning I was up doing my workout really early before a meeting and my workout called for bodybuilders. I wasn't feeling particularly strong or confident. I had a meltdown on my living room floor. I screwed up some bill timing and my check was $300 less than it was supposed to be. That was bugging me and then I felt like a complete failure on my bodybuilders. I just quit. I sat on the floor sobbing. I feel like maybe I'm never going to get better or healthier or anything. I feel like Tony thinks I am better and more capable than I am. I feel like I am fooling myself. I know my hormones are completely whacked and I'm still stressed about work. I just feel like an ass. :( I feel so incredibly vulnerable today. I'm tired. I feel weak... I ate a bowl of cereal for my second meal and I feel sick. I somehow imagined that it would fix my tears. It didn't. I knew it wouldn't, but I ate it out of anger. I was angry at my situation, my lack of ability to deal with life in general and at the fact that my body is the way it is. I see all the moms out there working, taking care of kids and taking care of themselves- accomplishing great things. I barely have energy to go to work, take care of my home and workout. I just feel like a failure at life. Why don't I have more energy?? I have more than before, but its still not enough. I'm so tired all the time. I feel like I am stuck in a retarded mental state. WHY can't I get past some things? WHY can't I deal with stress better? I feel like a freak. :(

I know I should call Tony, but I don't want to be negative. I don't want to be whiny. I just feel stupid. I'm an adult and yet I still can't deal with life. :( I really hate myself right now. I feel like a nutcase with this rambling. I need a day off from work. But I have to go in.

Thursday, August 28, 2008


I had a mini moment today. I read a quote :

"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, they make them."
-- George Bernard Shaw

I wrote this after I read that...

I have the choice. I can choose to give into the moment and eat garbage "food"- and stay where I am, OR I can choose to ingest healthy "fuel" and keep my body functioning with what it needs. Ultimately, I have the choice. PMS is a circumstance, a moment, an obstacle. I can give in or make choices to overcome. My job is a struggle, but a circumstance and an obstacle. I can allow myself to be overwhelmed and let it take away my inner joy or I can rise above. An unhealthy environment does take its toll, but I have to focus on the positive. Obsessing about all the negative things that have happened or might happen does me no good. Perhaps I am perpetuating the negative cycle by my thoughts alone!?! So, yeah, I'm taking some responsibility on that.

PMS has been stupid this week. I have another experience to talk about as well, but that will have to wait. I am tired of fighting the wrong fights. I am just going to stay positive and keep moving!

For some reason breakfast has been filling me up. I can barely finish my 1/2c oats. Weird. Of course I am starving later, but I have been doing well on food. Usually 5 meals instead of 6, but that's way better than 3! I got on the scale this morning and it said I was up 6 lbs! Whaaa?? 6 lbs from yesterday night?? Something ain't right I tell ya! I was able to laugh and not freak out. I am PMSing after all. I'm in camel-mode and no amount of water seems to help flush me out. I just keep peeing and drinking and peeing and drinking- yet I still retain.... *blah* I figure by Monday's weigh-in I should be good. My clothes still feel looser yet so.... who knows??

Off to work.... yikes I'm late!!

Monday, August 25, 2008

Week SIX Begins!

I am determined to make this the most awesome week. I am determined to follow my plan to the "T". heh- ya like that pun? :D I have CRIT workouts again. I can't believe I am saying this, but I am happy about that! My first week was CRITS and I lost 6.4 lbs! I reflected on last week and I am coming into this week with a different attitude. I am considering adding Tuna into my meal plan. Its quick protein that doesn't require cooking. I'm just going to need to figure out how to get over my gag reflex. Can T hypnotize me to like Tuna?? LOL

Week 6 Goals

* Drink 1+ gallon of "Lemonade"--(I love calling this concoction lemonade- just sounds less gross).

* Get 4 extra cardio sessions in. Monday-Thursday are my best options.

* Workout with 110% effort!

* Take 15 minutes each day to just BREATHE. Mini-meditation sessions will do me wonders.

* Go to colon hydrotherapy session. (stuff is not quite right because of the high protein and lack of veggies the last 2 weeks- yucko)

* Eat MORE veggies!! Get my greens in! (that comes with following my food plan 100%!)

* Use my Breathe-right strips at night! (I keep forgetting to use them and I wake up feeling like crap)
I have my workout done and protein shake in. Shower, oatmeal and eggwhites coming up next. I am pampering myself and cleaning like a mad-woman today.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Reflections on Week 5

Unless a miracle happens by tomorrow morning I am up 1 lb. :( I was exhausted and starving this last half of the week. And aside from the regular stress, I was feeling weak and insecure and depressed. Oy!
I have realized a couple things this week.
First- I can't rely on outside sources to make me feel good or motivated. That HAS to come from within. I wasn't able to access Tracker and I felt like my lifeline was removed. I started the week strong, but lost steam on the way. I need to be the well of motivation. I want this so badly, so... Just DO it!
Second- Life Happens. Period. I can't change certain things. I can do my best to plan and prepare, but I can't change other people. I can only change how I react to those people and the situations. I can choose to cry and whine about things or I can work around or with things. I have the power over myself- no one else-- unless I give that power away. This is a very difficult concept for me to assimilate. I often feel weak or powerless and this HAS to change if anything else in my life is going to!
Third- its probably time to change my pill. My mood swings are getting progressively worse, PMS is starting earlier and earlier and my headaches are coming back. I don't like being on hormones as it is, but things just aren't right...
Fourth- sleep is ABSOLUTELY a necessary part of my life. My body needs to have quality rest. 6 hours isn't enough right now. Really. I may need to cut out internet time or whatever else so I can get my workouts done, food in and rest in. Being exhausted and cranky doesn't do ANYONE any good!
Oh, and Fifth- don't try to tweak The Master's Plan myself. He's the expert, let him adjust! I've adjusted things my whole life and look where its gotten me! *duh*

I am resting my back again today and I plan on being ready for an awesome week next week. I have my chicken and turkey in the fridge to be made up tonight. NO excuses. My life is too precious to waste worrying and fretting and stressing. I am going to reach my goals no matter what anyone else thinks or tries to do to stop me.

I bought heavier weights and a step bench yesterday. I am ready for the new week!

Friday, August 22, 2008


So my stepper-thing broke today while I was doing a level 10 interval. My feet slammed really hard on the floor when it happened. My back is aching pretty badly right now. :( I got pretty jarred- it took my breath away!
So I am stuck with my bike or actually stair running or something else. Kinda bummed about it but I probably need a change anyway.

Ate clean and actually got my lunch in!! I got all my meals in for once. :D I am hopeful, but not expecting the scale to move. It hasn't moved all week. :/ I need to work on more veggies in my diet. Kinda skimped this week.

Exhausted now so I am off to bed.

Thursday, August 21, 2008



I was feeling really down and inadequate. I did my leg workout and I feel way better. I am pleasantly exhausted. I am off to bed before another workout in about 6 hours.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

So far

So far this week has kinda been a pain in the butt! lol I'm trying hard not to be frustrated or stressed out. I need to really bust out some serious sales at work and its just not happening for me. Part of it is my attitude. I just don't care on so many levels. I am burnt out. The management leaves on time, gets their lunch breaks and 15 smoke breaks. They expect the staff to work like dogs to the death. Afterall- we have personal numbers to meet, so why wouldn't we stay 3 hours over???- Everyday... Its thrown my cardio goals off. Shooting for the rest of the week. What is more important-- getting much needed sleep or doing cardio intervals after an exhausting day and less than optimal nutrition? I am going to talk to my manager one more time. If he doesn't make sure that the game is played fair in regards to lunches and breaks, then I'm just going to go to HR. I *hate* going this route. I don't want to and have been avoiding it at all costs. I'm tired of being nice and being taken advantage of. I am a very loyal and dedicated employee. I care about my coworkers. Its not being reciprocated and I am done. I know my one coworker appreciates it and stays late, too, but everyone else.... they are burnt out too. On a positive note- i think?? Uh, my gay assistant manager said he wants me to be his baby's momma! ROFLMAO!! Greeeeeaaaaattttt.... I don't even know what that means. I think it was a compliment. Oy. I gotta get my body in shape so I can sell it for money. lol Its got to be better than my current job. lol

So anyway... Checking in on this week's agenda:

* Complete every workout with 110% intensity!- so far so good! :)
* Add 5 days of additional cardio intervals- looks like we're shooting for 4
* Eat 100% clean- at the correct intervals- mmm, yeah... clean, but timing sucks
* Get at least 7 hours of sleep each night (I'm working towards 8)-- pretty close
* Drink 1 gallon+ of "Lemonade" mix each day-- Getting close to a gallon, but I backed the ACV off a little. I almost killed my kidneys! Monday night my back hurt SOOO bad. It came out of nowhere and I was so nauseated and my stomach hurt. DH made me drink tons of plain water and the pain lessened and finally went away. Of course I peed an extra gallon too. lol So, yeah... careful on increasing the ACV. I got over zealous and doubled it. Bad idea!

Did my abs and cardio this morning. Did extra cardio now and hope to do more tonight.
Protein shake w/ eggwhites in. Oatmeal AND BLUEBERRIES coming up after my shower!! :D

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.....

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Week 5 Begins Tomorrow

I can't believe its been a month already! Woo!
I have lost about 12lbs. I'm pleased. How could I not be?? I still would have liked to have been down a little more. According to the goal, I have to lose close to 17lbs a month! Is that even possible? Oy! I'll never see fruit again! LOL
I had a tough week last week and managed to stay even. I'll take that over a gain. I emailed Tony after our talk with some pictures and my feedback of this last week. Guess what? I get MORE ACV. LOL Yay. I am also committed to more cardio and more intense intervals. He wants me to lose 2 lbs by Monday. My goal is 4. I need to make up some lost ground. I am cooking up a few days worth of food now. I will be prepared. I can't get any closer to MY goals if I am constantly doing things for everyone else. I want to support my teammates/coworkers, but I can't sacrifice all the time. Its going to be a little rough re-establishing some boundaries, but I've been through some serious crap in my life so I should be able to handle this, right?

This weeks agenda:

* Complete every workout with 110% intensity!
* Add 5 days of additional cardio intervals
* Eat 100% clean- at the correct intervals
(I am setting an alarm on my blackberry to go off every time I need to eat.
* Get at least 7 hours of sleep each night (I'm working towards 8)
* Drink 1 gallon+ of "Lemonade" mix each day ("Lemonade" = 6TBSP lemon juice; 10 TBSP ACV and water!) Pucker Up Baby!!

I can do this.

Inspiration : ( I have pics all over the house now... LOL)

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Food Porn- picture *beware*

So I was pretty freaked out about work. Things were actually good. I got left alone- no one picking at me. I was included in the food decision- they got me a huge salad instead of ordering crappy junk food. I did have to overcome something though... the plate of cookies I was okay. Not something I really had to struggle with. HOWEVER.... I was munching away on my salad when suddenly this heavenly aroma tickled my nose... I look down to my left and what do I see???? A HUGE bag of Panera french baguettes!!! Wonder and horror both filled me at that moment. As a different girl than I am now I would have eagerly eaten as many of those darn things as my stomach would allow. This girl... well... I hugged the damn bag, inhaled deeply and shoved it away. LOL Then I took this picture to show you all what I was up against! lol I resisted. And I won. As some of you know the French Baguette and I have many conversations. It tries to convince me how wonderful it is and I remind it how its really not my friend. LOL
Yeah, I have some issues.... my food and I converse.... :D

Anyway.... another battle won. Now if I only I didn't feel so squishy....


So I have been scouring the internet for photos of what I am going for with my body. I have found a few that are close. I want this so much. Like a dummy I got on the scale this morning. I am up .4lbs. :( No loss? I've been feeling kinda squishy all week instead of hard and toned. :( Now the scale reports up. Blah. Now I am frantically going over the week. What did I do poorly, what could have been better. I didn't hit my workouts as hard some days because I was exhausted. Why was I exhausted- not enough food. Why not enough food- work. This is where I start crying. I am so stressed out at my job. I am tired, stressed and anxious. I had 2 lovely days away from the hell-hole. Today I go back. I feel like throwing up. :( I don't know what to do. Jobs in this area are slim to none and ones that pay decent... well I need schooling. How do I go back to school? Keep working at my job. *sigh* My job pays well and my health insurance is great. I just have to kill a little piece of my soul everyday to have those things. :( I don't want to be there anymore. I want to help people. I want to be healthy doing it. Being driven like slave labor to sell people feckin' cell phones is ridiculous.

I am tired and anxious. I want to train harder, eat better and reach my goals faster. I keep telling myself that other people do this, so can I. I just don't know where they get the energy. I am so damn tired some days. I need good food. Work likes to bring in pizza instead of letting us sit down and eat. Ummmm, that's gonna help me.


Sorry for the downer post. I just really needed to get that off my chest. I still don't want to go in. Thank goodness I have tomorrow off. I need it.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

The Talk with T

I talked with T today. We were supposed to talk tomorrow but he called today instead. All good. :) I got my Beverly International UMP protein officially ok'd. :D YES! We talked about competition stuff a bit. He wants me to find a picture of my ideal body. Then we'll figure out what organization and class, etc. He's going to change up my workouts a bit. He also mentioned comp diets being more challenging. I laughed and he said "I know, hard to imagine". lol I told him my favorite day was extra oatmeal and blueberries for breakfast day. :)
I don't know what it is about talking with Tony that makes things seem brighter, but it does. He didn't say anything in particular to change my mindset. It was just nice to check in with him verbally instead of via email. He made me laugh a couple of times- funny GNC story. He told a GNC person to basically stick it over the phone for a client. HAHA! He told me I just need to tell people to get the hell away from me. I almost died when he said that. I so TOTALLY need to do that. :)

Anyway.... sleep and the talk with T did me some good. :)

Oh, can I enlist some HELP!! ? :) I need help finding hourglass-shapped models or competitors. I need some curves and muscle to show T-man what I am after. I'm not having much luck. Any help is SOOOO appreciated. :)


So I have been of the cranky, tired, negative and whiney sorts as of late. I don't like being that way at all. I am usually happy and upbeat and positive. What I put my mind to, I achieve. I have a decent paying job that allows me some simple luxuries like pedicures and more important "luxuries" like personal training with Tony. I feel like my PT program with Tony is a necessity, but others may view it as a luxury. lol
I have a body that is capable of many things. I can still see, hear, taste, touch, use all my limbs, move about without limitations, etc. I am grateful for all these things. Its easy to lose sight of the little things that make life what it is.
I am still pretty tired from the last few days so I am being nice to my body. I am fighting off some sinus issue so I am resting. I am still hitting my workout full force today, but its just delayed a bit.
I talk to Tony on Friday. :D We're going to go over my goals more in-depth. I am excited. I am grateful that I am his client. All my hard work during BFL didn't yield me the results that Tony's program has. I have lost 3x the amount in 3 weeks than what I did with 10 weeks on BFL. That's not to say that BFL wasn't helpful or good. I just think my body has gone through so many damaging things that it needed something more. My body is recovering to better health. Once it gets back to good, game on! Hot Momma in the works! :)

Apple Cider Vinegar is my friend. Its helping with the sinus thing I am fighting. Off to drink up....

Today I am grateful for ACV, TONY!, BFL Tracker friends, Tony Diva Friends!, my hubby, my job, my need to purchase smaller clothes, oatmeal- I love you carbs!, poultry for being sacrificed for my daily intake, my fuzzybutt- bad-azz cats, soft (and loose) sweatpants, pedicures, and smiles...

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

I think I can, I think I can

I can do this....

I am exhausted from work and low sleep. I have this KILLER ab workout in front of me and I really just want to sleep. haha

I must do this. I am making great progress... though I may be dead after this workout. My abs are already sore enough from Monday & Tuesday.

I'm not complaining. I'm doin it....

If I can get back off the floor I will update again later. Otherwise- if I am MIA it means I can't sit up to do anything. :D

Monday, August 11, 2008

Week Four Begins!

Week 1

End of Week 3

I am looking forward to this week. I have an opportunity to really push out some awesome progress. I shed 3.8lbs this last week. I'd love to drop another 5-6 lbs if possible. I'll take any loss though. My midsection has really gotten better. I am SOOO happy! I took pictures today and I was shocked. I knew I lost weight and toned up but I wasn't aware of how things shifted. I'm a very happy camper. :)

Talked with the store manager today about the assistant manager. Things seem to be okay for now. I got a lunch. :) She also ignored me ALL day. It was great!

I am pretty sleepy. Sleep plays a huge role in my progress so I will take heed and get my booty in bed soon.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Must. Get. New. Job

My job sucks. A lot. I worked from 11-7 with no break. Not one. No lunch. No break. No food at all. :( I tried to get in a few bites of a Muscle Milk Lite bar but the stupid boss lady kept riding me. I'm going to talk to the store manager tomorrow. I was so dehydrated today. I'm not even looking forward to the scale. I'm taking pictures tomorrow. There is a definite change, but it could have been better. I didn't go off plan food-wise. I ate only approved foods. I just didn't get enough meals in! :( I think I need to talk to Tony. He recommended the Instone puddings but they are discontinued until they are re-released! *ack!* I am craving carbs in a major way. I have resisted thing after thing after thing. I want a free meal, but if don't think I have that option if I don't lose enough weight. :( I don't know. I need to keep pressing on. Its probably better to not to have the extra carbs when I am this stressed out. I wish I was better at dealing with things. I have had a few break down moments at the end of this week. It can't be good for my progress- cortisol and all.

I can't let this stuff get me down or be in control. I have to keep fighting for myself. I *DESERVE* better. I workout hard. My body needs nourishment and its my responsibility to make sure my body gets what it needs. If I have to defy someone for my health then that's the way its gonna be. I'd rather not have to be defiant, but it seems they are leaving me little choice. We'll see how the conversation with bossman goes tomorrow. I need to get a new job either way, but the timing is not optimal right now. I'd like to go back to school.

Tomorrow is shoulders/biceps/abs. :) Yay. I love chest and shoulders. I get my Beverly International order on Tuesday. Thank the Protein Gods. lol I think I am just a protein powder snob or something. lol I NEED my UMP!

Off to sleep with me now. Tomorrow will be a good day. It has to be.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Much Better

I am feeling much better today. :) My attitude it much more like me instead of the angry monster I've been feeling like. I got up and did my abs and cardio. I think I tweaked my back a little. My right side is a little unhappy when I twist. I'm taking it easy so I think I'll be fine. I am feeling so good right now. I can see improvements. I feel healthy and strong. I could have used more sleep but I'm better than I have been the last few days.

Positive thoughts and energy today. :D

Friday, August 8, 2008


I ate clean today! I had to fight off more junk food. My coworkers are finally getting it. :) They seem absolutely amazed that I can resist. (sometimes so am I). 2 more days of clean eating and I have fulfilled my one week challenge to myself.

I was excited to get on the scale on Sunday, now I am apprehensive. A million "what ifs" are going through my head. My water intake has been low. Did I push hard enough? Did my meal timing (or lack thereof) screw up my progress? What about the lack of sleep? What about..... *sigh* I need my head to shut up. lol

I'll probably take pictures on Sunday even if Tony doesn't request them. I need the side by side comparison. I feel pretty good. I can see some big changes but it will be nice to see the "big" picture.

Oh- went tanning today. Liked it a lot. It was a nice warm break from the chaos at work.

I like payday friday.

OH! Getting my "new-to-me" exercise bike on Sunday. Yay! :)

Thursday, August 7, 2008


I am exhausted. I worked 12.5 hours. I am angry, frustrated and just plain mad. I am tired. I won't get a good workout tonight, so I'll have to do double duty tomorrow. :/
I resisted cheesecake, cookies, pizza, and smoothies. Towards the end of the night I was freaking out and ready to shove any carb-like food in my mouth. I had gone too long without food. I was supposed to be off work at 6pm. I got stuck until 9:30. Grrrr. I guess I need to have like 3 extra meals hanging around at work. I just need to accept that things at work aren't going to change. I need to prepare more.

I got multiple compliments the last 2 days on my weight loss. :) Made me feel good. My MBL (mean boss lady) won't even look at me. She's been uppity with me. Whatever.

I want to go back to school. I am looking into a program to be a registered dietitian. I need a job that pays this well to get through. :( I also probably need surgery on my feet. Our health insurance is phenomenal. Need to take advantage of that, too.

I'm grumpy and need sleep.

Tomorrow will be more positive.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Ah Ha!

I think I found the source of my nausea. Zinc always upsets my stomach. I just realized that my calcium supplement has 125% RDA and my daily vitamin has 100%. So I am getting whammied by zinc and my stomach doesn't like it. There have been a few days where I forgot to take my calcium and those days I don't feel nauseated. I'm a little irritated because I need extra calcium but I'll just have to buy a new supplement. This one was new and well... I guess it just isn't going to work out. :P

Today was great. I slept in after the Radiohead concert. :) It was nice. I got up, ate M1 and went back to bed. ha! I got up a few hours later and did my workout. Tony is tryin' to kill me. LOL I love chest workouts but my shoulders were still sore from yesterday. Push ups were not on my love list today. I still did them although not the best form. I also had those darn ab rolls with ball. Yeah- need a good laugh? I'll video that for ya! So those were the 2 killer things. The presses and flyes were rough partly because of the order (push ups early on). All in all things were good though. :)

I ate well. It was definitely hard, but I resisted the bread at Panera. Salad was great though. Tomorrow I get more oatmeal! Yay! :) AND I get blueberries. *sweet*

My abs are less poofy today. I think carbs really make a HUGE difference. So sad. lol I do love my carbs. I can't wait to see what Sunday's number is. I am hoping to get down to 180. Shortly after that number I should be able to get into lower sizes. :)

Workouts so far:

Sunday- 30 min EMC, 50 min LNC
Monday- 30 min EMC, shoulders/bi wo
Tuesday- Chest/tri wo
Wednesday- not sure and 45 min extra cardio :)

My goal is to get in 3 meals before work. Things usually go to crap once I get there. *sigh*

Still thinking about competition stuff.... a lot...


Monday, August 4, 2008

uh oh...

Tina- this is your fault! I made the mistake of going onto Diva Exchange Classifieds...

I've been bitten! I can't figure out how to get the image so if you're curious you'll have to go to the link.

I LOVE that suit! I'm a little too tall and I don't think I could get to 125, but I think its SUPER cute. Its sooo pretty and sparkly!

Good gravy there is so much to learn. I'm just going to keep reading blogs and surfing sites.... any tips or thoughts are appreciated!

I have no clue on classes- what makes a class? Weight? Height? Both? Do they have beginners levels? lol Oy! How do I know what .... ummm... I don't even know what they are called. What group? or What organization to compete in? Ugh! lol

I am taking this week to push hard and see what I am made of. If I can follow T's plan 100% then I'll start really pushing towards doing a competition. :D Good grief I'm excited already. lol

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Cardio, day and night

Did 30 minutes of cardio this morning and 50 minutes this evening. I feel great! Tomorrow I am going to try to squeeze in cardio after my weights. We are going to a concert tomorrow evening so we'll see how my schedule works out.
Tuesday I am off so I can definitely get extra cardio in. :)

I am so looking forward to this week. I feel refreshed. Last week I felt like the poo. I was exhausted. This week I am eating clean and pushing through. I WILL see big results. This booty has got to slim down already. My thighs can slim down any time, too.

Off to sleepy land...

Saturday, August 2, 2008

What a difference

What a difference sleep can make. I slept an extra 3 hours! I went back to bed after I posted. I got my workout in and I feel SOOO much better. I reflected on the week and I really didn't do THAT bad. I ate 85% on target. I had a slice of pizza and panera bread during the week. The biggest thing is that I didn't eat often enough. The lack of sleep and stress plus hormones really just kicked my butt. I didn't get enough veggies in this week, but I've done well today.

I like oatmeal. A lot. I wish I could eat it more. Some days after work I don't feel like chicken or turkey. I just want a nice bowl of oatmeal. I don't eat it though because its only for breakfast. I love the days I get more oatmeal in the morning. :)
I wish I could lose all this weight by eating more oatmeal. lol

I feel so much better. Ahhhh. I am feeling more alive again.

Off to the store soon. Need more lemon juice and oatmeal.

Rough Week

This week was rough. I failed a lot. My food was just terrible. I just lost my drive. I was SO exhausted all week it was amazing I got workouts in at all.
Here is my excuse list: PMS,PMS,PMS,PMS... moving a whole retail store to a new location, sinus issues, nausea, exhaustion, nasty new whey powder- really effed up my day...yuck!, stress, exhaustion, PMS, PMS, sinus issues, exhaustion, nausea, nausea, exhaustion..... just excuses in the end. As T says- "excuses are nails used to build a house of failure..."

So yeah. Had I eaten better the exhaustion probably would have been much less. My workouts were not the intensity I wanted. I learned that I need to lift in the morning. Evening lift sessions are just not that good for me. Cardio at night works well.

I'm getting back on track starting now. I have the day off and I plan to workout, sleep, eat healthy, drink LOTS of water and catch up on cleaning the house. I haven't been here much this week. Over 60 hours at work.... I'm feeling kinda dead. I am looking forward to being home.