Sunday, August 10, 2008

Must. Get. New. Job

My job sucks. A lot. I worked from 11-7 with no break. Not one. No lunch. No break. No food at all. :( I tried to get in a few bites of a Muscle Milk Lite bar but the stupid boss lady kept riding me. I'm going to talk to the store manager tomorrow. I was so dehydrated today. I'm not even looking forward to the scale. I'm taking pictures tomorrow. There is a definite change, but it could have been better. I didn't go off plan food-wise. I ate only approved foods. I just didn't get enough meals in! :( I think I need to talk to Tony. He recommended the Instone puddings but they are discontinued until they are re-released! *ack!* I am craving carbs in a major way. I have resisted thing after thing after thing. I want a free meal, but if don't think I have that option if I don't lose enough weight. :( I don't know. I need to keep pressing on. Its probably better to not to have the extra carbs when I am this stressed out. I wish I was better at dealing with things. I have had a few break down moments at the end of this week. It can't be good for my progress- cortisol and all.

I can't let this stuff get me down or be in control. I have to keep fighting for myself. I *DESERVE* better. I workout hard. My body needs nourishment and its my responsibility to make sure my body gets what it needs. If I have to defy someone for my health then that's the way its gonna be. I'd rather not have to be defiant, but it seems they are leaving me little choice. We'll see how the conversation with bossman goes tomorrow. I need to get a new job either way, but the timing is not optimal right now. I'd like to go back to school.

Tomorrow is shoulders/biceps/abs. :) Yay. I love chest and shoulders. I get my Beverly International order on Tuesday. Thank the Protein Gods. lol I think I am just a protein powder snob or something. lol I NEED my UMP!

Off to sleep with me now. Tomorrow will be a good day. It has to be.