Sunday, August 24, 2008

Reflections on Week 5

Unless a miracle happens by tomorrow morning I am up 1 lb. :( I was exhausted and starving this last half of the week. And aside from the regular stress, I was feeling weak and insecure and depressed. Oy!
I have realized a couple things this week.
First- I can't rely on outside sources to make me feel good or motivated. That HAS to come from within. I wasn't able to access Tracker and I felt like my lifeline was removed. I started the week strong, but lost steam on the way. I need to be the well of motivation. I want this so badly, so... Just DO it!
Second- Life Happens. Period. I can't change certain things. I can do my best to plan and prepare, but I can't change other people. I can only change how I react to those people and the situations. I can choose to cry and whine about things or I can work around or with things. I have the power over myself- no one else-- unless I give that power away. This is a very difficult concept for me to assimilate. I often feel weak or powerless and this HAS to change if anything else in my life is going to!
Third- its probably time to change my pill. My mood swings are getting progressively worse, PMS is starting earlier and earlier and my headaches are coming back. I don't like being on hormones as it is, but things just aren't right...
Fourth- sleep is ABSOLUTELY a necessary part of my life. My body needs to have quality rest. 6 hours isn't enough right now. Really. I may need to cut out internet time or whatever else so I can get my workouts done, food in and rest in. Being exhausted and cranky doesn't do ANYONE any good!
Oh, and Fifth- don't try to tweak The Master's Plan myself. He's the expert, let him adjust! I've adjusted things my whole life and look where its gotten me! *duh*

I am resting my back again today and I plan on being ready for an awesome week next week. I have my chicken and turkey in the fridge to be made up tonight. NO excuses. My life is too precious to waste worrying and fretting and stressing. I am going to reach my goals no matter what anyone else thinks or tries to do to stop me.

I bought heavier weights and a step bench yesterday. I am ready for the new week!