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Sunday, January 4, 2009

Lost my positive...

:( So what is going on with me?? I've lost my positive. My clothes are looser, I kicked my workouts hard today, I've eaten clean, I'm wearing my cute new pullover in pretty pink... so why the sadness? The answer- I just don't know. I'm just feeling down today. I walked in my shoes today without slipping or tripping. They hurt my feet, but I don't think I'm getting around this fact. Maybe after this year of some competitions I can do the surgery. I don't really get why I feel so sad and bummed out. Its been gray and dreary all day. I'm still being as ass about this weekend's meeting. I'm really just irritating myself. Why can I just not get things together? Why am I constantly fighting my mind? If I can manage to get my mind in the right place during all of this preparation and training.... I just want to be healthy, hot, strong, and mentally comfortable and strong. I want to feel confident and comfortable with myself.

I think a nap and watching The Secret are in store for me very soon. I need something to pick me up and set my mind straight.

5 comments:

Tearose said...

Hillary I lost my positive too :( Maybe its hormones for me, no idea, but I hate when I get to feeling this way. I am going to just push through today and hope tomorrow is better. Watching The Secret sounds like a great idea actually :) Rest up I hope you find your positive. I need to go look at suits or something to get my mind back in the game :S

Marissa said...

I wonder if its something in the air. I am feeling depressed myself. I tried to talk to my DH but he just pissed me off by making it sound like I was complaining (which apparantly I do all the time). I thought about throwing in the towel because I just don't feel like I'm fitting in...

You can email me anytime you need a friend Hillary!

Marissa

April said...

It happens...trust me. Just remember this time and how you feel. It WILL happen again but you'll know that you will get through it. It still happens to be me but I just remember that it's a day or 2 and that it'll pass.

Kelly Olexa said...

When I get down, I just put in a movie with Jason Statham in it and I feel better. Or, I shop.
;-) XOXO

Tearose said...

I went and watched a movie, it was a bad choice, about American immigration and it ended so wrong and made me worry the rest of the day about my visa. Choose your movie wisely! lol