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Thursday, January 15, 2009

This is my last fat birthday

I had wanted to be so much further than I am. I was supposed to be at least 25lbs lighter. But today, I am definitely not anywhere near where I wanted to be. In some ways I am super bummed. Its not like I'm not working hard. Other people I know can just stop drinking pop and eating fast food and the fat comes flying off. Not me. Its frustrating, but years of damage can't be undone that fast I guess. I have to work harder, be more diligent, monitor thing more closely... It is what it is. Despite the frustration of being fat for my 31st birthday, I can say I am healthier than I WAS. I can also say, this is my last fat birthday. Yup. I will never be this way again. Once I get healthier, stronger, sexier- there is no undoing that. Each day is another day away from discomfort, embarrassment, self-doubt & self-consciousness, fear, awkwardness and self-loathing. Each day that I do the right things, eat clean, lift heavy, run or bike hard, each day brings me closer to my ideal self.

Today is my last fat birthday. Its a cause to celebrate!

5 comments:

Susan said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Health Girl!!

I am coming up on my 43rd birthday soon and was thinking & feeling the same way!

I am sad that I am not where I want to be physically but mentally I have come along way since last January.

Value your body and yourself. Want and deserve better for yourself than you have had before.

All my best,
Susan

mikeyrosie000 said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

I would not be discouraqed by you progress you have done so amazing and will continue to have amazing results!

I knwo what you mean about those people that eat crap all day, never workout and still lose weight...I hate them! lol

Your attitude has changed in a great way this year and it will continue changing for the better...not that it's not perfect already! I can see from your blogs that I have read that you are turninh into a more confident, vivasious woman and your determination is awesome!

I can't wait to see what your are at physically and mentally a year from now...Hope today is a great day for ya!!!

Tracy said...

Happy Birthday!!!!!!! Try not to think of this as a "fat" birthday... we don't say the "F" word by the way.

Think of how much healthier you eating this birthday than any of the others!!! And thats HUGE!

In the words of Terry Goodlad... "You are working hardier than any figure girl prepping right now. Look how far you've came".

Angela said...

Happy Birthday Hillary! I agree with Tracy---dont use the fat word...you are not fat by any means! And look how far you have come! Celebrate that!

Forever Fitness said...

I'm late, but happy b-day! I really enjoy your blog, and it's so inspirational