Saturday, January 10, 2009

A sigh of relief and a fresh start

My new target comp date for now: June 27, 2009 Tracey Greenwood Figure - Philadelphia, Pennslyvania

I may choose to kick it into gear for an OCB show in May, but for now, I'm chilling out. Back in November it was a close enough call to start dropping some weight. Since things are tough and not going as planned, I am just going to wait to do the Lakewood show. They have another in October that I really want to do, too.

I talked to my trainer today and I feel a lot better. I thought that I would actually like carb cycling. I actually kinda do but I think I need something more steady. We discussed a little about the damage I have done to my body of the years of yo-yo dieting. I have done plenty of starvation type diets in my time and my body is a pro at hanging on to fat in case there is a famine. At this point I don't even think straight-up anorexia would make me lose weight. (I'm only half kidding) The plan now is to get my metabolism healed and then revved up. I am going to do something different with my cardio, too. Time to mix up it more.

THANK YOU SOOOOO MUCH for yesterday, friends. I really just felt like the ugliest, fattest, grossest chic ever. I put on a new outfit I bought (that actually fits instead of being a baggy mess like most of my clothes, lol) I felt a little better. Then the hubby took a picture of us with the webcab. When I saw myself on camera I was surprised. I still don't like where I am at, but I am doing better. I actually kinda liked me for once.

So now the process is about liking me and getting me healthy instead of trying to get on a stage. I'll get my booty on a stage and rock it soon enough. For now, its about something more important.

(yeah, my hubby is a long haired hippy type! LOL.... and yes he is a musician, too- seriously)


Marissa said...

OMG Hilary YOU ARE GORGEOUS! I thought at first that was a mag pic of a rock star and his hot wife! Well I guess in a way it is! You are tough on yourself. But I know how that is. I am too. We need to be nicer to ourselves! I am proud of you for sticking with it. I'm bummed I won't be seeing you in April tho :( But I'm rootin ya on for your Philly show!

And thank you for all the comments too, we're hear for each other!!

mikeyrosie000 said...

Long haired hippy...LOL
My brother is the same way and he is almost 40...also a musician.

Yep you are so gorgeous how could you ever feel down about yourself!!

I think it is a good ised to wait till June when you feel a bit less stressed and stable....can't wait to see you up on stage!

Melissa H said...

I don't know how you can look at yourself and see anything other than beauty. Every time I log into your blog, I look at your profile pic and think that you look so much like Renee Zellweger (who I think is GORGEOUS!)

I agree with Marissa. We need to be nicer to ourselves.

Can't wait to see how you rock the stage in June!!

Kelly Olexa said...

You are a gorgeous thing right now. And you have inner beauty too which makes a huge difference. I have no doubt, I've said that before, that you will reach your own individual fitness goals. Just keep pressin ON!! woo-hoo!!


April said...

I would have never pictured your hubs looking like that LOL! Not that it's in that Kid Rock way :)

What band does he play with?

Health Girl said...

Awwwww. *blush* You ladies are great!

Thanks for the comments!

Conni said...

Hillary you are beautiful! NO more stinkin thinkin!!! My DH is a muscian also that had long hair at one time, now well not so much ;)